Last week was chock full of business so I decided to dedicate the weekend to spending time with family. We all decided a movie would suffice and my mind exploded with anticipation. (I’m a sucker for movies) I wanted to watch something halfway exciting or funny considering the weather outside was horrible and down right depressing. The movie didn’t have to be new for all I cared I would have easily settled for “Half Baked” or “Lethal Weapon” (had they been options). However, after all was said and done I completely lost and to add insult to injury my family settled on watching ….drumroll… ”Precious.” The most disheartening, gritty, and completely miserable movie you could watch aside from “Passion of the Christ” or “Army Wives” reruns. My spine cringed with agony of the thought. Oh boy…

Warning! Spoiler alert! If you don’t want to know how the movie ended or what happened then stop reading now! If you don’t care keep on! Forget a plot and ending breakdown like I usually do. Here is one paragraph breakdown of how I felt watching the movie:

So the opening credits popped on and showed everything misspelled…holy shit, don’t tell me she can’t read or write! WTF I’m sad already. Ok we’re into like the first 5 minutes of the movie and she’s getting raped…by her father? Are you kidding me….is that her MOTHER watching?!! Oh boy this is sick. She’s 16 and pregnant…by her father. She’s morbidly obese (thats the scientific way of saying she’s fat…she steals 10 peice chicken buckets and eats the whole thing in 5 minutes. Yes, this happens) and…wait, her mother rapes her too? Is that Mo’Nique fingering herself? Her first kid is mentally retarded, her mother beats her ass and makes her eat food for no reason, and to top it all off…drumroll…. her father gave her AIDS so she’s gonna die in the near future. Hey, Lenny Kravitz is her Nurse and Mariah Carey looks ghostly pale. Ok, it’s the last scene lets see if Mo’Nique deserves….ok I see why she won the Oscar. Precious was raped since the age of 3? Everyone cries. But, on the bright side she’s attending an alternative school, lives with her 2 kids at a halfway house and now reads and writes on an 8th grade level at the age of 17. The end, roll credits.    

“Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood” -Donnie Darko

I’m giving my mind a break. Currently listening to ”Run My Mouth” by Ra Ra Riot.    

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